Does Fear of Failure Keep You From Exploring with Your Child?

Over the years, I've had plenty of disappointing, even embarrassing moments with my son on the autism spectrum. 

It all started at Gymboree.  No, he wasn't the only two-year-old who wanted to keep playing on the equipment when all the other kids and moms made a big circle and started to sing.  But he WAS the only kid who flat out refused to do anything at all with other kids (except pop bubbles).

Sure, the leaders told me this happened all the time...  But I'm not dumb.  Looking around, I could see that Tom was the only one out of a dozen kids that either wouldn't, or couldn't, participate.

I didn't give up on including my son in community activities after Gymboree...  but the truth is, I was nervous.  I watched him on the playground, dribbling dirt from his fingers rather than playing tag, and I worried.  The autism diagnosis helped me understand his issues - but it didn't help me to feel more comfortable with the stares or pity I imagined I'd receive from my own peers.

It took a lot of expermenting with different settings and activities - and growing a fairly thick skin - to get past my fear of embarrassment or my anger with those who seemed to pity me and my son.  But the process has, overall, been a good one. 

Yes, he did have a tough time managing a general swim class at the YMCA - but after a few false starts, he did it!  Today, he's a solid swimmer with no fears or disabilities in the water.

Yes, it was tough finding a clarinet instructor to work with a kid who liked to stuff toys into the instrument...  but after a lot of searching - and a lot of patience on the part of a creative young instructor - we discovered that our kid has real musical talent.

Does fear of failure keep you from exploring with your child?  How did you get past it (or are you still there)?